Have No Fear

I was talking to Jessica of TeLuv the other day, and we had a very enlightening discussion about fear. Specifically, we were talking about the fear of failure and its ability to prevent action. The fear of failure can stifle you because you will always feel like you should be reserved, just in case something goes wrong. Therefore, you never give your all. In order to be successful in anything, you have to come to grips with the idea that you might screw everything up and fall flat on your face, accept it, and go hard anyway. I can think of a million examples, and I had to learn this fact the hard way.

When I first moved to Atlanta, I had an internship at a major studio. The internship was six months long, and when it was over, there was a hands-on test to see if I would be hired on as an assistant engineer at the studio. I was anxious to be an engineer, and this test weighed heavily on my brain for the entire six months. I was thinking, “Shit, this is it. I have to pass this test. What will I be able to do if I can’t work here?” It was as if my entire future depended on the outcome of this single test.

The effect of worrying about this test so much was that when it came time to take it, I was overly anxious, and performed poorly. I was trying TOO hard instead of just using my brain and trusting in my talent and experience. I could not think clearly, therefore I could not troubleshoot. As a result, I was not hired. However, with a recommendation, I got an internship at another major studio, and a second chance.

This time I made up my mind not to be afraid of failure or mistakes. I decided that ACTION would be the theme from now on. I figured if I made a mistake, I could fix it afterwards instead of worrying about it beforehand. It is rare that a mistake is made and there is no opportunity to correct it. There is a phrase that I have always tried to incorporate into my belief system:

“More is lost through indecision than a wrong decision.”

With this in mind, I made moves. I stepped up for every opportunity, and even before my internship was over, I was an assistant engineer at a major studio in the market of my choice.